
Posted on July 8, 2021
By Elisabeth Windsor
I grew up in the participation trophy generation. Playing soccer every year from age five meant I racked up a lot of those participation trophies, but they never gave me either the sense of entitlement or the sense of accomplishment, which detractors and promoters of trophies argue for. Instead, they were a symbol of failure. They told me, “You weren’t good enough to earn anything real.”
But, for me, it wasn’t just participation trophies. Somewhere along the line, I got the message that no accomplishment meant I was good enough. And, on the other hand, not achieving meant I definitely wasn’t good enough. I felt like I had to be the best to be worth anything at all. I was constantly chasing a sense of worth that nothing brought, but I was too afraid of what it meant if I stopped.
I graduated at 16. I was valedictorian. I was on the Dean’s List, the President’s List (Yes, I was a nerd). I got married young. I bought a house at 21. I obsessively tracked my net worth to make sure I was doing better than others. I was at every church event, read the Bible over and over, did everything I could the “right” way. I spent hours a day cooking elaborate meals and trying to keep my house spotless. You get the idea. Still, nothing gave me the sense of having arrived that I was looking for.
Then, my life changed drastically, including a divorce. I lost my church community, most of the support system I had at the time, and my home. I went through several Pure Desire groups, and learned a lot about myself and my damaged beliefs. One of the things that started to change is how I viewed my progress in life.
I began to unwind this deep-seated belief that something about me was lacking. As my view of what made me valuable changed, so did my view of accomplishments. It became okay, even good, for accomplishments to be something to be proud of. It finally felt acceptable to take time to recognize who I am, what I have, and all the beauty around me, rather than feeling pressure to rush on to accomplish the next thing. I felt freed to celebrate all the good in life.
To me, a celebration doesn’t have to be a big, loud party or an award. A celebration is an acknowledgement of something good. It is honoring the emotions that come with it, allowing the time and space needed to fully enjoy what there is to be thankful for. Here are some of the things I now enjoy celebrating:
Though I still struggle with feeling like I’ve done enough, celebration has become more and more a part of my life. I no longer see pride in my accomplishments and positive self-worth as sinful feelings that need to be stuffed down, but a healthy form of celebration. Seeing the good in myself has given me even more appreciation for the good in others and in life in general. And I hope you feel the same, because it makes life so much more fulfilling.
The views, opinions, and ideas expressed in this blog are those of the author alone and do not reflect an official position of Pure Desire Ministries, except where expressly stated.

Elisabeth has used design to support causes she believes in for over 10 years. During her eight years at Pure Desire, she has created everything from images for social media to web pages to book formatting and design. Elisabeth is blessed to have experienced the healing Pure Desire has to offer in her own life and be a part of communicating that hope to others.