3 Reasons I'm Looking Forward to the Summit

Tomorrow starts one of my favorite weekends of the year.

I view it a lot like I’m sure mothers view childbirth. There’s a lot of hard work, stress, and lack of sleep (I don’t experience the physical pain though). But the payoff is well worth it.

Tomorrow is the 2022 Pure Desire Summit.

Now, have I and my team worked as hard on this event as a mother giving birth? Of course not! But we have worked really hard over the past year to create an event where real transformation can take place. And I know the hard work will pay off in a big way!

As we are just one day away, I wanted to share three reasons why the Pure Desire Summit is one of my favorite weekends of the year.

1. Facilitating Connection

The British-Swiss writer and journalist, Johann Hari, famously said in a TED Talk, “The opposite of addiction is not sobriety. The opposite of addiction is connection.”

Most of us who attend the Summit, we’ve experienced the damage of sexual brokenness—either as the one who struggles or as a betrayed partner. And as we know from this experience, it is easy to slip into isolation and feel buried in shame.

The Pure Desire Summit takes Johann Hari’s words and works to build an event that facilitates the connection we so desperately need. Those who struggle need to know they are loved and accepted. They need to know there is hope for others to truly know us and still choose to love us.

Betrayed partners need connection just as much. They need to know they aren’t alone in their suffering. They need to know that hope and stability is possible. They need to know they aren’t crazy and that what they’re experiencing is real.

The Summit is created to connect us with each other. Those who struggle and those who are betrayed. It’s an event that pours into relationships—both current and new (for us social butterflies).

Personally, I love getting to meet new people and see familiar faces. Though I get to do some pretty cool things for Pure Desire, there’s nothing more energizing than meeting people who are on the same journey as I am. I love making connections and being reminded that I’m not alone.

Life is difficult. Recovery and healing are challenging. But the solution, as Johann Hari tells us, is better connection. Connection to God, connection to others, and connection to ourselves. The Summit works to make ALL THESE CONNECTIONS.

2. Learning from Experts

When selecting speakers for our Summit, we ain’t messin’ around. We want our speakers to pack a punch and bring expertise that will benefit our community. This year, we have Dr. Juli Slattery and Jay Stringer.

I know both of them personally; and I can say, not only are they great speakers and communicators, they are amazing people. They both have experienced aspects of this recovery journey and are now helping other men and women step into greater depths of healing.

Juli is our featured speaker and we get to hear from her three times (two main sessions and one breakout)!

Juli’s first session tackles a topic we all want to hear more about: SEX! Her main session, Why God Cares About Your Sex Life, makes the connection between God and our sexuality. It’s tough to connect the two, especially if we carry any amount of shame in this area. Juli will give us the “why” behind God’s heart for sex, sexual healing, and redemption.

Her second session is on another relevant topic: purity culture. In, Pursuing Sexual Integrity (Not Simply Purity), Juli will help us redefine what sexual integrity is and why it matters so much. There will be links to identity, stewarding our sexual desires, and addressing wounds and shame.

As you can probably tell, her sessions will be incredible.

Personally, because of his impact on my life, I’m extremely excited to hear from Jay Stringer. 

Jay has been a friend and, whether he knows it or not, a therapist in my life. I’ll tell you a little bit of that story during the Summit.

Jay’s session is titled When Failure Sets Us Free. Whoa! I’m in based solely on the title! Aren’t you?

In this session, we’ll explore the neurobiology of shame, how to outgrow unwanted behaviors, and figure out what it means to desire again. Jay believes our stories of the deepest shame are not a barrier, but a bridge to going ALL IN on the life we desire.

3. Sense of Belonging

If you’ve been in recovery or healing for a few months or a few years, you know the feeling of talking to someone who has done the work too. Someone who has been through the difficulty of life and done the hard work of recovery and healing. Maybe it’s someone mentioning their family of origin, or referencing the FASTER Scale. There’s an “Oh, you’re like me!” moment that happens. You get a sense that you’re not alone and there are other healthy people out there pursuing deeper levels of healing. Let’s be honest, these are the moments where we think, “Did we just become best friends?”

Yes. Yes, you did.

Well, the Summit is like a buffet of these types of moments. Everywhere you turn there are men and women who have been through Pure Desire groups or counseling. There are men and women who have restored their relationships. There are men and women working to help others experience the same healing. It really is like an “all-you-can-eat” experience of connecting with people who get it. They know how difficult the recovery and healing road is. They’ve had their ups and downs, just like we all have.

A sense of belonging is so powerful, especially when sexual brokenness or betrayal is a part of our story. In his book, The Culture Code, Daniel Coyle talks about “belonging cues” and their importance. In order to feel a sense of belonging, we each ask three questions: 1) Are we connected? 2) Do we share a future? 3) Are we safe? 

At the Pure Desire Summit, you will feel connected. You will feel the tangible nature of being shoulder to shoulder (in-person or virtually) with people on the same journey as you.

At the Summit, you will catch a vision for a shared future. Each of us (me included) attending the Summit are in pursuit of more healing and more recovery. We want more. We want growth. We want the potential God has for us.

And at the Summit, you will feel safe. We’ve all been there—every speaker, event staff, and volunteer. We’ve experienced the ups and downs of recovery from sexual brokenness or healing from betrayal trauma. We see you and know you. You are safe here.

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The Summit facilitates connection, gives us opportunities to learn from leading experts, and gives us a sense of belonging.

If you attend the Summit, you will connect with others like yourself, walk away with life-changing information and encouragement, and walk out knowing you’re linked arm-in-arm with hundreds of other men and women on the same journey.

Let’s never stop being healthy and go ALL IN!

See you at the Summit!

Register here

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Johann Hari, Everything You Think You Know About Addiction Is Wrong, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PY9DcIMGxMs

The views, opinions, and ideas expressed in this blog are those of the author alone and do not reflect an official position of Pure Desire Ministries, except where expressly stated.